The Joys of Car Riding solo….

The joys of driving around with just myself and my sleeping 14 month old is that I get to think. And think. And think. And today I thought about a few things.

I thought about emailing Maggie Dent, a lady who I saw speak at the Building Brighter, Stronger Families conference recently. I want to ask all these questions about how to raise my 14 month old with two different families with two very different sets of values. I want to tell her that she made me realize FINALLY that although I may be an over-protective parent, I’m actually doing OK. I want to tell her that she made me want to be a better parent for my daughter. That I realize she is going to fall and scrape her knee and that’s OK. It happens. You dust it off. Kiss it better (magic kiss) and send them on their way. When they cry, you comfort. So simple but it took her telling us this to actually make me finally go ‘OK’ and be comfortable in doing what I do, and that’s being a mum.

I thought about a letter I wrote to an author (for the life of me can’t remember the author or the book I read. Would like to remember though and I can’t find the letter. I think I may have thrown it out a couple of years ago when I moved out), and I thought about the contents of that letter. I remember it being about two things…1). My family were fighting in amongst themselves and I was finding it very hard to deal with. It wasn’t a pleasent experience for anyone and 2). I was thinking about having sex for the first time with my first boyfriend and rightfully so, I was nervous. I didn’t know what to do and since I wasn’t comfortable talking about it with anyone close to me, I asked a stranger. An author of a book about girls that I’d read about it. I remember the letter saying that if I didn’t want to do it, no one could force me to and it was OK to say no. I didn’t know if I was ready and needed guidance. I was glad that I recieved a response and I still wish I could remember the authors name so I could write and tell her about all my experiences since then.

I thought about my life and where it’s headed and what I want to achieve now I’m officially a year older. What I want to do and what I want to see happen. I thought about what to do to get to where I need to be. Where do I see myself this time next year? Honestly have not a clue but I know what I want and I need to talk to a certain someone to see where he stands on certain things.

All this and more is what I have had time to think about in the car.

Inner workings of my mind.

xoxo

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