I just want to feel…

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Me, the night after my D&C (Dilation and Curettage), looking very tired. And I was.

I just want to feel normal again. If that’s even possible.

I want to not have my heart sink when I hear someone saw “Ultrasound…”
Happened at work last night. I walked out of the toilets to go to start work and someone was talking and the only word I heard was that. My heart sank, I could feel the emotion build up….not a great start to my shift.

I want to be able to talk to people about my pregnancy, but wait, I’m not pregnant anymore.
Someone asked me last night how the bubba in my tummy was going and I said, quite sadly, that I wasn’t pregnant and that I’d had surgery to remove it.

So, when can this sadness go? When can I feel normal again?

I’m taking it one day at a time, but there are times where I just want to hide in my bed and cry. But that’s OK, because it’s part of the process.

Maybe one day I’ll get there. Just not right now…..

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