Concentrate on me…

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I’ve made a decision.

I’m going to take some time and concentrate on me.

I’ve decided that physically I need to fix myself.
So last Thursday I joined a gym. No big deal to some but to me, it was something that I really needed to think about. I’ve joined a gym before but that was because my friend went there and so I thought I would too. It wasn’t for me though.
This time it it.
I returned to work a couple of weeks ago and while I may only work 3 days a week, there really are quite challenging. I stack shelves at a supermarket and it is quite physically demanding and I’ve found that since returning, my body just isn’t the same. I can only lift lighter objects and pulling and twisting is just too painful at the moment.
So, I have some goals that I want to achieve (as I have talked about in Getting my fitness ideas on.. ).
I’m not just gym-ing either. I’m back onto my Healthy Mummy shakes as well. Healthy eating and drinking better (more water, less fizzy/cordial) and making better overall choices.

With these physical changes, I’ve found that I need to work on me mental health as well. It has taken a battering these last few months so I want to concentrate on getting that back on track as well.
One starting point is that I have enrolled my daughter into childcare one day a week so that she can work on her social and language development and I get some ‘me’ time This has been a cause for debate between my partner and I. Personally, I believe that she will benefit from it greatly. As for me, it will be my time to do me. Do the things I want/ need to do. Housework, go out and get my eyebrows done etc.
Last week, I took the time to go to the Tasmanian Arboretum and I loved it. I was able to focus on my photography (a hobby of mine since before I got with my partner), and I felt so much better afterwards. I felt so much more relaxed, more so then I have for a long time.
I’ve also decided that to turn off all my electronics for most of the day as I found that when I was using them and being distracted by my daughter, for example, I was getting angry, and that was something that I didn’t want.
So, I’m making more ‘down time’ where electronics are off/left alone and I do something else, like I go outside for an hour or so, write a blog post with pen and paper. Just something else.

It’s also best for my daughter as well.
Because that’s what she deserves.
Me.
The best of me.

So that’s the plan.

Hopefully, all goes well, things will start looking up. For me. For my daughter. For everyone

 

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The last rose on our rose bush in the backyard.

 

I just want to feel…

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Me, the night after my D&C (Dilation and Curettage), looking very tired. And I was.

I just want to feel normal again. If that’s even possible.

I want to not have my heart sink when I hear someone saw “Ultrasound…”
Happened at work last night. I walked out of the toilets to go to start work and someone was talking and the only word I heard was that. My heart sank, I could feel the emotion build up….not a great start to my shift.

I want to be able to talk to people about my pregnancy, but wait, I’m not pregnant anymore.
Someone asked me last night how the bubba in my tummy was going and I said, quite sadly, that I wasn’t pregnant and that I’d had surgery to remove it.

So, when can this sadness go? When can I feel normal again?

I’m taking it one day at a time, but there are times where I just want to hide in my bed and cry. But that’s OK, because it’s part of the process.

Maybe one day I’ll get there. Just not right now…..

Enjoying nature..

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Out for a walk at the Tasmanian Arboretum

Today, I took advantage of some child free time and went on an excursion to the Tasmanian Arboretum. I’ve been a couple of times with family and I love it.

I was only there for about an hour but it was nice to get away from everything. All the stress of life at the moment and just walk, photograph, and more walking. I’d forgotten how much I love to do photography around the place. It was nice and relaxing. Being in nature, doing something I enjoy, made me realize that I need to take a step back, relax, allow my body to heal and take some time to smell the roses. Do what I enjoy everyday and not let trivial things get me down.

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My favorite image from my photography expedition today. Taken at the Tasmanian Arboretum.

10 years..

Ten years paper confetti sign.

Last Friday I celebrated 10 years working at my workplace.

10 years! I can’t believe that!

I started there when I was 20 years old. I had a boyfriend who broke up with me not long after I started. When I started the whole shop was different. Different layout. Things in different aisles. Different people. I met my partner at work. We worked the same shifts doing the same thing. We’ve been together for nearly 5 years. We have a 2 year old together.

I have seen managers change around so much but one thing has remained the same…

I am a shelf stacker through and through.

I’ve done checkout. I don’t enjoy that at all. Not my thing.
Some people like it. Me, nah.
I like to physically see what I’m doing and am results driven. I know what I’m good at and what I’m not good at. I know what I can and can’t do.

Honestly, I have my job to thank for who I am today. For the life that I have. For my partner. For my daughter.

So, 10 years have come and gone. Wow, even saying it out loud is weird.

Thank you.

Bit of a loss this week..

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Photo that my mum took of me at Turner’s Beach, the day before she left for Bali.

Well, this is kind of the news that I wanted to see first thing this morning.

As you know, I have made it my mission to lose weight and get generally healthier and fitter following my miscarriage and D&C. So, I have decided to take advantage of the fact that I have signed up for the Healthy Mummy challenge (You can sign up here). I’ve taken advantage of the challenge app and find that the weekly weigh in’s make it more of a challenge to beat my last weeks progress.

This week I have had a loss of 13.1cm off of my body with a weight loss of 200g which to me is awesome as I didn’t really have a great week food wise (celebrated 10 years at work and so we had pizza and junk food and that’s my weakness). I’m proud of the start that I’ve had so we shall see how these current weeks go.

Just wanted to share my achievements this week 😀

*I have started a weight loss page where I post my measurements and weight for that week. You can find it here *

Trying a new product I found online..

I received a package today.

It was from EkoWorx. I had seen the ads pop up on Facebook from time to time and I had wondered if it would really work.

It wasn’t until someone else I knew tried it out and posted about it that I thought I would buy it. After all, what’s one more cleaning product right?

Well, I have tried it out and I can honestly say, I won’t be buying any other cleaning product for around the home anymore. I have already cleaned the oven door, some cupboard doors, bit of the range-hood and I even cleaned some green crayon off of our white walls that has been there for at least a week. Man, do I feel impressed. I don’t feel like I have to wear a gas mask when I use it and it’s a pretty straightforward product in terms of usage. I don’t feel like I’m about to wreck my clothes using it either. Which is great.

I will be tackling the bathroom next with it (possibly tomorrow, depends) and we shall see how that goes. I wasn’t very impressed as on Monday I decided to clean the soap scum off the shower doors (with a product specifically made for bathrooms, and yes, I did have a brain freeze as most have a bleach kind of product in it and yes, it did stink my house out), and not thinking straight, didn’t change out of my work pants (I was wearing them already and didn’t think to change) and so low and behold, the product I used bleached my pants and so I had to throw them out and buy new ones (I hate buying clothes).
Ekoworx doesn’t have me feeling like I’m going to wreck my clothes but I suppose, better to be safe then sorry, tomorrow, or whenever I get round to it, I will change into my trackies and tackle the bathroom next.

Here are some of my pictures from today’s goings on….

The two on the left are from before Ekoworx and the two on the right are after I had a go at using it. Must say, I’m sold. Thank you 😀